As I think back to my experience as an educator and what it means
to be either the oppressed or the oppressor inside the education system, I realize
that Freire has made me really reflect and think about what I actually witness
on a daily basis. The idea of cultural schizophrenia is real. Who am I, or who
do I want to be? Better yet, who do others think I am and why? I think these
questions have really begun to surface a lot as I come near the end of my MAT
and TFA commitment. Am I someone who wants to stay in the classroom, do I see
myself now as a teacher who can separate herself from being an oppressor of the
students? Am I being responsive? Am I allowing my students to be
themselves and express themselves in a way that feels comfortable, or am I
oppressing them and forcing them to be and act a way that is more comfortable
for me? I think at times I still struggle and juggle the line of who
I am and who I want to be as well as how others may view me and my role either
as a teacher or in society as a whole.
I have definitely felt
a pressure to assimilate myself to going back and forth between this life as a
teacher and the life I knew before. I do feel as though my worlds are still
separate enough that I have had to really think about what it means to
assimilate myself. You have this pressure to assimilate to the world around you
regardless if it makes sense to you or not. I think about this a lot in my
classroom. I find myself often times being the oppressor to my students,
assuming and thinking that they need to be like me and do things like me in
order to be successful. I like to think it is because I want nothing but the
best for them, but I need to realize that allowing them to be themselves, yet
providing them with multiple opportunities, is ultimately going to lead them to
success. I forget that
there is more than one path to success, and I need to allow my students to be
themselves in order for them to feel successful.
In my classroom we
often talk about what it means to stand up for yourself and make a difference.
I try to empower my students to “do something about it” rather than just
accepting it as fact. Freire states on page 69, “It is essential for the
oppressed to realize that when they accept the struggle for humanization they
also accept, from that moment, their total responsibility for the struggle.
They must realize that they are fighting not merely for freedom from hunger, but
for . . . freedom to create and to construct, to wonder and to venture.” This
idea that if the oppressed allow themselves to be the oppressed, if we as
teachers allow ourselves to make excuses as to why we can’t help our students
or why our students aren’t performing where we think they should, we are
allowing ourselves and our students to be oppressed by the system.
I believe that
structure and order are important, especially in the classroom, but I also
think that students need a place to discover who they are, where their dreams
can take them, and what learning is in a way that makes sense to them. I am not
the teacher that requires you to be crisscross applesauce in your seat, but I
do require you to be engaged and involved in the lesson. I have, on more than
one occasion, had administrators come in my room and yell at my students
because they were either standing instead of sitting, or sitting on the floor,
or sitting with legs in their chairs. Whatever the description, it was clearly
the opposite of “standard and normal”. This situation always makes me question
myself as a teacher as well as the administration. Who is in the right? Why is
one way better than another, or is it?
I realize the
importance of allowing our student to think and create on their own. It is
amazing to me how students after several years of being “oppressed” simply
assume that the teacher will just tell them the answer and completely give up
any idea of thinking for themselves. These are not the strong, empowered,
future CEO students we want to help empower in our classrooms. This has really
been evident to me as we continue to work on our group projects. When I told my
students they had an opportunity to stand up for anything they believed in and
to make a difference they were ecstatic. Then when they realized they were
actually going to do something about it and actually try to make a change, they
froze. They didn't know what that meant other than to respond to a writing
prompt. Several of them are still struggling with the idea of what to do, it is
as though they are waiting for me to tell them to call the local animal shelter
and as to come volunteer - they have been "oppressed" and assume and
expect that they will be told exactly what to do, the idea of being creative
and thinking for themselves has proven to be extremely challenging for them in
this particular circumstance. I wonder though, if our students are feeling as
though they are being oppressed by the constant direction they are being given
in school. How do students feel when they are constantly told to be seated, do
this, read that, study this? Are we as teachers giving them the opportunity to
empower themselves, or are we as teacher simply oppressing them in hopes they
will assimilate to be the types of students we expect? The idea behind my
class project is to help my students realize their rights and to empower them
to make a difference, I am so glad that I have chosen to work with them in
this way because it is clear based on my observations that they need the
opportunity to have the right and freedom to do something they want, something
that matters to them, and not something that matters to someone else.
Kelsey, I love this post! You raise so many great questions that are very important to think about. I know that you have a love-hate relationship with Freire, but I can see that he has definitely impacted your thinking in an AWESOME way! I'm so glad that you are wrestling with these questions and truly reflecting on your positionality and presence in the classroom. I love how you are deconstructing your role and the expectations that you have for your students. Thank you for reminding me of some very important truths -- such as there is not only one way to be successful, and we should not seek for our students to be just like us. I really love the way that you are deeply connecting Freire's ideas in your classroom and in your thinking about what good and just pedagogy looks like and sounds like.
ReplyDeleteI also love the connection you made about how the students are used to having the teacher (or the oppressor) tell them what to do. In some ways it is easier to just follow directions instead of having to think for yourself. But I'm glad that you are questioning this and thinking that this is NOT a good thing. We don't want to perpetuate the banking concept of education in our classroom and we do not want to teach our students that we are depositing into information into them because we are the teachers and they are the learners. This action research project has been difficult for many of my students as well because some are scared of the responsibility to actually do something. I don't think that we provide our students with the opportunities to truly DO something in school that actually matters. I'm excited to see how they grow in this journey, though. Even if their projects aren't as successful as they might hope, the most important part is that they are starting to think of themselves as agents of change.
Kelsey,
ReplyDeleteI really relate to a lot of what you say here, especially about pushing our students to take on the mindset of change agents. I like what Joy says about it being easier to take directions than to think for yourself. In that same vein, it's easier for us as teachers to just give directions rather than allowing students the space and time to think through things themselves. We are more comforted by the by knowing exactly what process they should go through and what end they should arrive at. It's much harder to set them free and to be unsure of what the process will look like, and to be forced to let go of any desired outcome (because who knows what the outcome will be?). But it's kind of selfish for us to put our comfort before students' needs. I wonder if this habit of sticking to what is most comfortable for us has anything to do with the lovelessness Freire discusses? When we don't allow them the space or provide them the resources to figure things out on their own, are we loving them?